This is part 2 in the dating series Physical

read part 1 here

In part 1 we covered many different things relating to being physical in a relationship between a couple or a lack there of; this post is  targeted to the really practical side of this topic. Below I have some things I want to address specifically to guys and to girls.

Guys… it is terrible as the body of Christ to take advantage and use girls. If you are a guy who respects and honors the girl they are dating, but find out down the road that a brother in Christ was intimate with this girl and had no intention of marrying her, it doesn’t feel very good. We as men have a responsibility to be respectful and honoring to women.

Woman have been hurt and disrespected by men. Guys we need to step up and do a better job of loving our sisters in a  way that God loves and cares for them. We are all in this together and we can help each other out but we need to step it up.

Ladies…don’t exchange your body for love.. If a man of God is pursing you and your heart he will not push you to do things. If you  need to find affirmation and love, talk to someone, but don’t give your body to a man to  feel loved. When its all said and done, you will continue to feel the same way and continue the cycle of trying to find love.

Another issue to be aware of is please, please, please be careful and mindful with what you wear.  I have seen some pretty revealing outfits on a Sunday morning and ladies, you are not helping the fellas out there. If you are wearing those outfits all the time, you are probably driving your boyfriend crazy and really are not helping him be pure with you or with God. Men are visual people and are stimulated by what they see. With that being said don’t read this as you should wear all mute colors and a burlap sack. There are plenty of great things you can wear that will make the men around you feel comfortable. From a man’s perspective there is nothing nicer than talking to a woman knowing you are listening to what she is saying from her words and not from what she is wearing and being distracted by her outfit. The way you dress is going to attract the man you want.

Practical steps

-If you are really tempted sexually being alone watching a movie at midnight will not help your desires.

• Don’t allow yourself to be put into a tempting situation
• Make good choices and think before the temptation even starts.
• When the temptation starts; get up take a walk or spend a couple minutes apart from each other

-Help each other. Men, don’t start pushing the physical line here. Ladies, don’t let him push you in that way.

-Talk to married couples who you respect and ask them questions about how they handled their relationship physically; you might learn a few things and they might have some guidance you can apply with your relationship

-Pray that you would respect the other persons body.

• Pray for the person you are dating and pray for yourself.

What to do when the line has been Crossed

Mistakes happen and when the line has been crossed, what do you do? I love the movement started by Mike Foster called POSC, which means People of a Second Chance. After all, we have a God who is very generous with giving His children second chances. I think if we own our own mistakes and pray that God would restore us, than things might change. God wants us to be restored! If you crossed a line or flirted with sexual immorality, pray that God would give you a second chance. Can God give someone a second virginity? Yes! I think we often don’t ask God, we are to ashamed of ourselves but you should seriously pray and be honest with yourself and others. What you have done in the past doesn’t have to be who you are; your sin doesn’t define you. Your past is a story and a testimony that can be shared with others to help people.

A few years ago pastor James did a sermon on sex. Usually when you hear a sermon or talk on sex, they have a captive audience. Pastor James concluded his message by asking a question “are you fleeing or flirting”? I can still remember that question today, but seriously ask yourself are you fleeing from sexual immorality or are you flirting with the idea and maybe you’re not doing it intentionally but doing things that lead you to it.

Come back this Friday for the the guest post on this weeks topic.