It comes to no surprise that we are living in a day and age different from our parents. Many young adults are getting married later in life, which means sexual immorality is more likely to happen. I think it is rare to come across a young adult who believes that pre-marital sex isn’t ok. Culture pushes sex so much that being single feels like a death sentence: a one way train to sin island. I came across a part on singleness and sexuality in Rob Bell’s Sex God, it had some great principles to take away.

“For many, sexuality is simply what happens between two people involving physical pleasure. But that’s only a small percentage of what sexuality is. Our sexuality is all the way we strive to reconnect with out world, with each other and with God.”

Rob repaints what we think of sexuality, he changes it from an act to a state of being. I really think as singles, we crave the physical pleasure that being single doesn’t provide; yet, desire for something deeper that being closer to one another can provide.

“A friend of mine has given his life to standing with those who have been forgotten and oppressed the most. He’s in his early thirties, he’s single, and he talks openly about his celibacy. What makes his life so powerful is that he’s a very sexual person, but he has focused his sexuality, his “energies for connection,” on a specific group of people. Some of the most sexual people I know are celibate. They sleep alone.”

What I like about this quote is Rob Bell doesn’t say singles are these un- sexual people, he is saying they are sexual and they carry their sexuality in a different way. He goes on to say that the Red Light District in Amsterdam is so sexually repressed because there is no connection between two people-having sex its just “sex”. You can be having a lot of sex and be unconnected and sleeping alone. Bell says “its possible to be sleeping alone, and celibate, and to be very sexual connected with many.

Let the above sink in. When we are single we can focus our energy on connection and being in community. Maybe being single needs to be redefined from a lack of physical intimacy and relationship, to being in close deep connection with many.

This can only happen if you are at peace with who you are. It’s so easy to be frustrated with God for not providing someone or constantly thinking there is something wrong with yourself. Being at peace with who you are will help you move into a closer connection with God and others around you. If you continue to be frustrated with the circumstances of life, then connection will continue to be difficult to have in the world and with the people around you.

Check back tomorrow for a special guest post from Joy Eggerichs of love and respect now.