If you are just tuning into the dating series all of the previous posts have been about different aspects in dating. I feel it would be unfair to do a dating series and not talk about singleness for those who are currently single or have no desire to be married. This is a subject that can be frustrating so hope you can learn and look a little deeper into singleness.

Singleness is a frustrating subject in the church. As being someone who is single, I have had plenty of frustrating times dealing with other people’s views and my own views towards singleness.  Singleness doesn’t have to be frustrating, it can be very freeing; but I feel that single people need to be invested in married couples and married couples invested in singles.

There is a difference between celibacy and singleness. Celibacy is what Paul would call the gift of singleness (1Cor 7:7). Singleness is the period of time that one is single whether this is during the younger years, post divorce or being widowed.

Singleness doesn’t have to be a curse from Satan himself. As a single person, priorities are different. There is not another person who’s needs are needing to be met. The freedom is limitless in choosing what one might want to take part in.

In 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 Paul states that an unmarried person can spend time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please Him. A single person is not divided between a spouse and the Lord; a single person can fully show their devotion to the Lord. Examples of this are Jesus and his disciples. Paul was single and more recently mother Teresa was single and served the poor in India for her life. Single people can devote themselves to prayer and to service within the church.

This can be taken the wrong way that doing acts of service should not try to fill the void in your life and your heart of being single. Here lies the difficulty in being single, the world has the idea that being single means you are a second class person and once you are married you have achieved life. I’m sure there are people out there who would disagree with me, but from my experience this is what I have come to see.

• Marriage = achievement
• Singleness = in process or not reached achievement.

Let me say because a person is single does not mean they are not qualified to serve in the church. Single people have great gifts to offer the church and to the body of believers.

If you are single, don’t let anyone tell you that something is wrong with you. Don’t give into that lie. It is easy to believe the things we’ve been told; remember you are a child of God created in his image.

Something that is easily overlooked is that we are all in this together. We are apart of God’s plan and we all have different things to bring to the table. Single, married, divorced, widowed; God has a desire and plan for the roles we can play in the kingdom and we should help each other. There are people who are married who feel that they need to set people up on dates and help the single people. That is great, but be careful how you do this and make sure the other person is ok with it before you initiate the process. By continuing to do this in the church, I think it might continue to placate the problem of single people being ok with being single.

There are single people who would rather not be around anyone who are married or dating. This is a destructive spot to be at as well. If we are all in this together we need to live that way. There are plenty of things we can all offer each other and plenty of things married people can learn from single people. Single people can learn some great things from married people as well. All I’m saying is let’s be careful with how we treat each others circumstances and do our best to help one another.

I think that singleness can be a very awesome gift if looked at as a gift and treated with respect by the person who is single and the people around them.

Check back on Thursday for part 2 on singleness we will look into the connection between sexuality and singleness.